Kindergarten Kid Stuff

Carolyn showed the 3-D ultrasound pictures to her children.  It freaked them out!  Some of them said the pictures scared them and covered their eyes.  Others said the baby looks like a stone.  It is seriously tempting to wait until the baby is born, put her in makeup so that she looks like she does in the ultrasound pictures, and take her to Carolyn’s school to visit her students.  That would really mess with them; but like Carolyn always tells me when I make these suggestions, it’s not her job to mess with them.

In other Carolyn’s-kids news, one of her little boys was telling her about a dream he had that ended abruptly.  When Carolyn asked him what happened next, he said he woke up before the dream ended.  “But,” he assured her, “when I go to sleep tonight I’ll finish the dream to see what happens next.”

Published in:  on March 19, 2009 at 5:51 am Leave a Comment

What’s A Sermon?

Just now I went to the kitchen here at work to get the goods to make some coffee.  As I passed one of the classroom doors, a boy came over and asked what I was doing.  “Writing a sermon,” I said.

He asked, “What’s a sermon?”

If you ever want to force yourself to bring clarity into your life, get a preschooler to follow you around for a day and ask questions.

When he asked this question, I realized I had about two seconds to clearly and succinctly explain my life’s calling.  Preaching is the central task not only of my job, but my vocation (the distinction between the two will have to wait for another post).  Suddenly I was faced with explaining in simple terms what exactly it is that I do.

So I told him, “A sermon is where you study the Bible and then share with people what you learn.”

I’m grateful for that encounter and that penetrating question because it forced me to return to my task with renewed purpose, intentionality, and clarity.  A sermon is where you study the Bible and then share with people what you learn.  That means a sermon is not:

  • a chance to tell that story I’ve been itching to tell (which, of course, could somehow be squeezed into the sermon disguised as an “illustration”).
  • a platform for airing my opinions, frustrations, and personal biases.
  • an opportunity to relive my childhood dreams of being a performer.
  • an avenue for telling my favorite jokes.
  • a channel for voicing the latest trends in church ministry.
  • a way for me to tell people what I think… supported, of course, with Scripture.  (If anything is supported with Scripture rather than based on Scripture, that should be a red flag.)
  • the time to try to impress people and get them to like me.
  • for the purpose of showing everyone how spiritual or knowledgeable I am.

Now obviously it’s okay–and often even helpful–to tell stories, crack jokes, share personal illustrations, implement effective speaking practices, and so on.  But all of these things are secondary to the biblical text.  The point of a sermon is to share what God says, not what I say; it’s about God’s Word, not mine.  If I begin with my ideas and simply wrap it in Scripture like a Bible fajita, where the meat is my ideas instead of God’s, I’m not preaching a sermon.  An authentic sermon begins with God’s thoughts and expresses them through the preacher.  It will look different with every preacher, just as the sunlight looks different shining through different stained glass windows.

By the way, after giving my definition of a sermon, the boy merely said, “Oh,” and ran off to play.  Sometimes that’s the same response I get after preaching a sermon, but again, that’s for another post….

Published in:  on March 18, 2009 at 10:55 am Leave a Comment

Training Station Art Show 2009

Last night at the Training Station we had the annual art show.  Every kid in the preschool has a piece of artwork that is set up in the sanctuary.  It’s all exhibited like a real museum, complete with titles, jazz music in the background, finger food, and punch.  So opening night was last night, and for a couple hours we had a bunch of the families here while the artists proudly showed off their work.

The place was filled with masterpieces!  All the artists were between the ages of 2 and 4 (maybe a couple 5-year-olds, I’m not sure).  Here are some of my favorites (in quotes are the titles as dictated by the artists):

“Spiders Tickling Each Other”:

“A Mom Playing Outside”:

“Me Sitting On My Horse Thinking of Stuff”:

“My Teddy Bear and an ‘R’”:

“A Monster That Jumped Out of the Theater and is Eating Two People” (look closely and you’ll see that that’s really what this is!):

And my nomination for best title ever, from one of my favorite two-year-olds, is called “I Don’t Know What It Is.  It Looks Like a Bunch of Paint”:

Ahh, I can’t wait ’til next year’s show!

Published in:  on March 10, 2009 at 2:03 pm Comments (3)

Kickin’ It

Carolyn & Laura Marie had another doctor appointment yesterday.  The doctor got the thingamabob that detects the heartbeat and put it on Carolyn’s tummy.  As soon as she did, Laura Marie kicked it!  It was pretty funny (though Carolyn didn’t tell me about it until later–I couldn’t see it).

From now until week 35 (she’s now at week 26), Carolyn has to go to the doctor twice a month instead of once.  After that it’s every week.  We’re getting closer!

Yesterday we also scheduled a 3-D ultrasound.  It will be on Monday, March 16.  I can’t wait to see the baby again!

Published in:  on March 4, 2009 at 2:58 pm Leave a Comment

I Guess There’s A Kid In All Of Us

There’s a little two-year-old guy at the Training Station that always calls me “Man.”  While all the other kids call me “Pastor Nathan” or some variation of that name (such as “Bouncy Efan,” “Master Neeson,” or “Kafran Afan”), this little guy simply calls me “Man.”  When he’s on the playground he’ll sit in one of the Jeeps or plop down in a swing, and when he sees me outside he’ll start yelling very loudly, “MAN!  MAN!  HEY MAN!!!”  I’ll push him for a few minutes and when I stop he’ll inevitably start yelling again, “Man!  Push us, Man!”

Finally one day I told him that if he kept calling me “Man,” I would start calling him “Kid.”  As I was explaining this to him, he was looking at me very intently, and I could see in his eyes that he was really thinking about this, really processing it in his two-year-old mind.

About ten minutes later he sat down in one of the swings, spotted me halfway across the playground, and shouted, “HEY!  BIG KID!”

Published in:  on February 28, 2009 at 5:02 am Comments (2)

My Most Important Appointment

Sunday evening I got a phone call from my little friend Mandi.  She’s a six-year-old first-grader at Seaside Christian School.  At first I wasn’t sure why she was calling, so I asked her a few questions and we just kind of chatted for a couple minutes.  Then, during a pause, she said, “Pastor Nathan, will you be my pastor at my school for Pastor Appreciation Day?”  (Seaside has a day once a year when kids invite their pastors to school and they have lunch and visit the classrooms.)

You can imagine my response.  I cancelled my appointments with pope and president to make sure I’d be there.  After we finished talking and she said, “Bye!” we both started to hang up, but not before I heard her announcing to her parents very matter-of-factly: “He said okay.”

I was just thinking that her dad, my good friend Daryl, had put her up to it.  But before I could even finish thinking that, Daryl called back and said, “Dude, I did not put her up to that!”  The day before, she’d mentioned wanting to call me, and on Sunday, she insisted on having her dad’s phone to call me.  Isn’t that precious?!?

Tell ya what, I don’t care what else happens between now and the end of February–that totally made my month!

See you Friday, Mandi!

Published in:  on February 17, 2009 at 1:21 pm Leave a Comment

A Girl After My Own Heart

I have a new favorite kid.

This week we’ve had a Scholastic Book Fair at the Training Station, and some of the parents have helped out by volunteering to run it in shifts.  This afternoon there was a little girl who’s barely four years old, and her mom was working the book fair.  As they were getting ready to close it up for the day, the girl said, “Mom?”

Her mom asked, “What?”

And the little girl answered, “I love books!”

I knew there was something special about that kid.

Published in:  on February 5, 2009 at 2:23 pm Leave a Comment

Not What It Appears

Now this is funny.  You just gotta read it.  Make sure you look at the picture before reading the article.

Thanks to my friend Ty for sending this my way!

Published in:  on January 29, 2009 at 1:25 pm Comments (3)

Our Youngest President Yet

Apparently the inauguration on Tuesday had an impact on at least one of Carolyn’s kindergarten students.

Yesterday one of her little boys came to school wearing a dress shirt, a tie, and slacks.  He’d picked out his own clothes that morning.  When he walked into the classroom, he proudly announced to Carolyn: “I’m the President!”

When Carolyn asked what he would do as President, he smiled, waved, and said, “Wave.”

Published in:  on January 22, 2009 at 1:07 pm Leave a Comment

Another Reason Why My Nephew Kevin Totally Rocks

The other day my sister-in-law, Kristi, was explaining to my three-year-old nephew, Kevin, that he was supposed to take something that starts with the letter W to school for show-and-tell.

Kevin thought for a minute and said, “I know what I’ll bring!”

“What?” his mom asked.

He answered enthusiastically: “A wacecar!”

Published in:  on January 16, 2009 at 5:47 am Leave a Comment