One of my brothers refers to McDonald’s as “McLaxatives” because of the unintended medicinal value of their food products. Now they have apparently decided to expand their healthcare services. At the McDonald’s near my house, they’re offering help–and comparatively inexpensive help–for those who are having difficulties ridding their bodies of liquid waste products. Here’s the proof:
I’ve heard of fast food, but that’s a little too fast. I think I’ll stick to the natural processes.
Lots going on lately. A brief recap:
Yesterday at CrossWay Church we wrapped up a three-week series called TXT with a message about how to study the Bible.
The very term “Bible study” can be intimidating, but it’s actually a process we learn very early in life. Carolyn’s kindergarten students use a similar method whenever they begin a new unit in their curriculum. It’s essentially three parts:
(1) Read the Bible passage and ask: What does it say?
(2) Read the Bible passage again and ask: What does it mean?
(3) Read the Bible passage a third time and ask: What should I do in response?
A good dose of prayer woven throughout is especially helpful.
Major bummer–the podcast was lost! Not sure what happened, but it cuts off around the time the offering was taken.
Carolyn was reading a science book about animals to her kindergarten class yesterday. She showed them a picture that looked something like this:
When she asked if anyone knew what this was, one little guy raised his hand and said: “It’s a playing mantis!”
D is for…
On Saturday Carolyn and I had the first of our three childbirth classes. This one was held in Salisbury, and the next two will be at a church that’s right across the street from our neighborhood (that’ll be nice!).
The class was from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., and there were seven other couples there. Well, one young lady was with her sister and another was with her mom, while the rest were with their husbands. It was pretty interesting!
We learned about how the baby is developing and what changes are taking place in Carolyn (translated: we saw pictures of how her guts are getting all squished up). We learned what will happen when it’s time for the baby to arrive. I’d always wondered just what exactly it meant for a woman having contractions to be “dilated”–now I know a little more than I actually wanted to.
A nurse came in and talked about child safety, then gave a quick crash course on infant CPR. It made us nervous to hear about all the creative ways that kids find to get hurt, but it also helped us feel a little more confident to be aware of some of these schemes.
Then we learned some relaxation exercises to use during labor. I just hope we can remember this stuff! The giant bouncy ball things were amazingly comfortable. I think I might have to get one to use for an office chair.
One of the best parts was the last hour when we went over to the hospital (PRMC) and actually toured the maternity ward. Our instructor, Diana (who was really good, by the way), showed us where we’ll come in the hospital, which elevator to take, and exactly where to go. We went to the labor & delivery room and she showed us some of the equipment that the doctors will use. It’s very comforting to have seen that room, because it’s helpful to fight anxiety when we don’t have to imagine what the place might look like. She showed us the waiting room where family and friends can go, then showed us how to navigate the maze to the parking lot where we’ll all go to take our newborns home. Oh yes–she also showed us where the operating room is where they do C-sections, and the NICU area, but of course we didn’t go in there.
It was cool getting to meet some other people in our same situation–it’s a first baby for everyone, and all the women are due right around the same time. One of the moms-to-be is carrying twins! It’s also neat that the other couples probably live nearby, since everyone signed up for a Berlin class instead of a Salisbury class. We may have some future Training Station children inside the wombs in that class!
Diana gave us some helpful materials to take with us until next week. She even gave us homework! Of course, that homework is watching some videos online, and that’s my kind of homework.
Yesterday at CrossWay was week #2 in the series TXT. This week we explored the question: How do we know the Bible is true?
We broke this question down into three tests that are used by historians to test the reliability of ancient documents:
(1) The internal test. This asks the question: Do the writers of the Bible claim that their writings are true?
This one is the easiest to answer. Passages like 2 Peter 1:16 and John 19:35 give us a resounding yes. The Bible passes the internal test.
(2) The external test. This asks the question: What does the outside evidence say about the Bible?
We looked at other ancient writings, archaeology, and other sources and discovered that the Bible does indeed pass the external test.
(3) The bibliographic test. This asks the question: How well were the original documents translated up to today?
Looking at various pieces of evidence such as the Dead Sea Scrolls, we found that the Bible passes the bibliographic test; in fact, much more so than any other ancient work.
Lastly we looked at how Christ’s mind-boggling fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy verifies their truth.
I’ll give you a warning that I gave everyone in church: If your heart is hardened to God and your mind is closed to receiving His truth, this message will do nothing to change your mind. Even people in New Testament times who had plenty of firsthand evidence chose disbelief over faith. Faith is a gift from God, and if we ask Him to show Himself to us and help us believe, He will. Hopefully this message can at least persuade people to consider that maybe God really is who He says He is.
After all, the Bible really is true!
The podcast should be up soon.
For my latest painting I decided to paint my favorite picture from Laura Marie’s first sonogram. Here’s her precious little foot after 19 weeks in the womb:
Carolyn showed the 3-D ultrasound pictures to her children. It freaked them out! Some of them said the pictures scared them and covered their eyes. Others said the baby looks like a stone. It is seriously tempting to wait until the baby is born, put her in makeup so that she looks like she does in the ultrasound pictures, and take her to Carolyn’s school to visit her students. That would really mess with them; but like Carolyn always tells me when I make these suggestions, it’s not her job to mess with them.
In other Carolyn’s-kids news, one of her little boys was telling her about a dream he had that ended abruptly. When Carolyn asked him what happened next, he said he woke up before the dream ended. “But,” he assured her, “when I go to sleep tonight I’ll finish the dream to see what happens next.”
Just now I went to the kitchen here at work to get the goods to make some coffee. As I passed one of the classroom doors, a boy came over and asked what I was doing. “Writing a sermon,” I said.
He asked, “What’s a sermon?”
If you ever want to force yourself to bring clarity into your life, get a preschooler to follow you around for a day and ask questions.
When he asked this question, I realized I had about two seconds to clearly and succinctly explain my life’s calling. Preaching is the central task not only of my job, but my vocation (the distinction between the two will have to wait for another post). Suddenly I was faced with explaining in simple terms what exactly it is that I do.
So I told him, “A sermon is where you study the Bible and then share with people what you learn.”
I’m grateful for that encounter and that penetrating question because it forced me to return to my task with renewed purpose, intentionality, and clarity. A sermon is where you study the Bible and then share with people what you learn. That means a sermon is not:
Now obviously it’s okay–and often even helpful–to tell stories, crack jokes, share personal illustrations, implement effective speaking practices, and so on. But all of these things are secondary to the biblical text. The point of a sermon is to share what God says, not what I say; it’s about God’s Word, not mine. If I begin with my ideas and simply wrap it in Scripture like a Bible fajita, where the meat is my ideas instead of God’s, I’m not preaching a sermon. An authentic sermon begins with God’s thoughts and expresses them through the preacher. It will look different with every preacher, just as the sunlight looks different shining through different stained glass windows.
By the way, after giving my definition of a sermon, the boy merely said, “Oh,” and ran off to play. Sometimes that’s the same response I get after preaching a sermon, but again, that’s for another post….
Surfing the Inner N8 