In case anyone is really interested, click here to visit the website for the American Mustache Institute.
Thanks to my strange younger brother Dylan for the link. Only he would send me such a thing.
American Mustache Institute
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Surfing the Inner N8 
Your younger brother is not strange. He is simply worried that you wear, what we at the American Mustache Institute refer to as the “spousal compromise” (goatee or beard). You see, a mustached American is brave and knows no boundaries. The spousal compromise demonstrates weakness as it represents the facial hair compromise men make with their spouses. Spend more quality time at the AMI web site and you too shall learn the ways of the force of the labia sebucula…..Latin for “lip sweater.” Carry on.
Your Friends at AMI
That’s great, Mr. Froman! Thanks for putting a smile on my spousally-compromised face!