Don’t Ignore–Forgive

This morning as I was driving my four-year-old daughter to preschool, she taught me a valuable life lesson.  Laura Marie was telling me about a boy who had said some mean things to her and some other girls.  In response, I pulled out the old time-worn parental adage, “When he says something mean to you, you can ignore him.”

She corrected me, “When he says something mean to me, I can forgive him.”

Wow.  I stand corrected.

Once a hurtful remark enters a person’s ears, it’s too late to ignore.  Usually when we say to ignore someone who is being mean, what we really mean is to not react.  Following this idea to its natural conclusion, it means to internalize cutting remarks, to pretend they don’t exist while in reality they boil and fester.

The solution to someone saying mean things is not to ignore them, but to forgive them.  To forgive an offense necessarily requires that we do not ignore an insult or criticism.  Once we’ve heard it, it’s really too late for that anyway.  At that point, it’s a matter of how we process it.  To ignore it means to let it pierce us to the heart while we perpetually deny that it affects us.  To forgive means to absorb the blow, then release the offender from guilt so we are not weighted down by bitterness.

Children who forgive mean comments show up at high school with strength and confidence.  Children who ignore mean comments show up at high school with guns and knives.

Let’s not teach our kids to ignore hurtful remarks.  After all—let’s be honest here—it didn’t work for us.  Instead, let’s teach them to forgive.  If we had been taught to forgive, we may have been released decades ago from some of the pain we still carry around—pain stemming from comments that we allegedly ignored.

Don’t ignore.  Instead, forgive.

Published in: on November 6, 2013 at 9:26 am  Comments (1)  

A Christmas Carol Bi-Annual Date

Carolyn and I had our first date in six months yesterday.  The last time we went out was the night before Laura Marie was born.  We saw Night at the Museum 2, then went to dinner at Zia’s.

Yesterday afternoon our good friends Josh and Christi, along with their boys, watched the baby while we went to see A Christmas Carol.  Man, it was good!  Nearly every year we read or watch A Christmas Carol.  It’s one of our Christmas traditions.  So it was really cool to have a new version of it come out.  Not only was it a new version, but it was 3-D in the theater–it was so cool!

We’d never seen a 3-D movie before.  Now I’m hooked on it.  We saw previews for some upcoming 3-D movies.  I want to see them all!  Even without the 3-D, it was a great version of the classic story.  For the most part they stuck very closely to the book.  One of the best parts was their depiction of Victorian London in a snowy December.  I loved it.  They also made the most of the 3-D effects.  Now that I think about it, I’d like to see it again before it leaves theaters!

I figure having one date twice a year is probably a good place to start.

(By the way, if y’all see this, a big THANKS to the Engles for taking care of our baby!!!)

Published in: on December 13, 2009 at 1:30 pm  Comments (1)  


Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged!  I’m going to try to get back into it, though I’m amazed that anyone with kids can ever keep up with a blog.  But I’ll give it a shot.

The past couple Sundays at CrossWay we’ve been in a series called “Postcards,” where we’re studying the little one-chapter books in the New Testament: 2 John, 3 John, Jude, and Philemon.  All four books are short letters with huge significance.

Last week we walked through 2 & 3 John.  In these letters, the apostle John highlights hospitality as an important display of commitment to Christ.  He teaches the importance of partnering with Christian workers by supporting them with hospitality; on the flip side, he explains how anyone who extends  hospitality to false teachers “shares in his wicked work” (2 John 11).

Yesterday we studied Jude.  This is possibly the most severe book in the New Testament, but with good reason.  Jude begins by saying he wanted to write about the joy of salvation, but instead of celebrating with the recipients of his letter, he felt instead the need to issue a dire warning against false teachers who had snuck into the church.  He totally reams them out, and describes them in great detail so that Christians who want to walk in truth can steer clear.  He ends the letter on an up note, giving praise and glory to God our Savior.

Next week: Philemon….

During the month of June we had guest preachers at CrossWay.  They all did an excellent job, and we’re grateful for their ministry!  It’s nice to be preaching again.  As demanding as it is to do every week, I sure did miss it!

Published in: on July 13, 2009 at 10:21 am  Comments (1)  

Packed and Ready

Carolyn is at week 37, which means that Laura Marie is now technically considered full term.  So the family bags for the trip to the hospital are now packed and waiting on the living couch for the big moment.

From left to right: Daddy’s bag, Baby’s bag, Mommy’s bag:

In case you’re wondering why the baby has her own bag, it’s because her mom has several different outfits picked out for her to wear home.  She wants to wait until the baby is born so she can pick an outfit that best matches her personality.  And each outfit is accessorized–matching hat, bib, socks, etc.

Published in: on May 19, 2009 at 12:29 pm  Comments (4)  

Dad Wisdom

This morning I had breakfast at Panera Bread with a couple dads from the Training Station.  They’re twin brothers and have seven kids between them.  Very interesting guys!

Every time I see them around their kids, they have that whole dad thing going on.  Their kids are their pals, but also respect them as parental authority figures.  That’s a pretty cool trick to pull off!

I had a great time with them and learned a few things, too.  Some highlights:

  • Parenting is like a lot of other things: how much you put into it determines how much you get out of it.
  • When a second child comes along and requires more attention from the mom, it can be a good opportunity for the dad to build a bond with the first child.
  • Hit the bottle!  (Not that bottle.)  Otherwise, forget trying to get a babysitter for more than an hour and a half during the first two years.
  • Relax.  The dad instincts will kick in.
  • On delivery day, bring Kleenex.  Be prepared for a new level of emotion.  There will be crying involved.
  • With a girl, forget trying to be macho.  Accept the fact that I’ll have tea parties and practice cheers.  Just be sure there are no YouTubers with cell phones nearby.
  • She’ll be watching me.  Always.  Just be aware of what I’m teaching her through what I say and do.
  • Cherish every moment, because it’ll fly by!

Thanks Greg & Dennis for sharing your combined quarter century of experience!

Published in: on February 3, 2009 at 2:01 pm  Comments (7)