The Fat Guy’s Dilemma

Yesterday I went running on the boardwalk with my friend Chris.  Actually, to be more precise, I should say I went jogging.  When you’re 19 you go running.  When you’re 35 you go jogging.  Running is what you do on the way to first base after laying down a bunt.  Jogging is what you do on the way back to the dugout after you get thrown out at first.

Anyway, I discovered a disheartening catch-22: I’m jogging so I won’t be fat anymore, but since I’m already fat, it’s very difficult to jog.  I expected that the whole cardiovascular aspect of jogging would be the hard part.  I was wrong.  The hard part is that with every step, I’ve got 220 pounds slamming the boards.  With each step my legs were like, “Seriously?  What’d we ever do to you?  Sit down and give us cheese dip!”

Reminds me of something that Cal Ripken Jr. said in an interview many years ago: You never have to get in shape if you never get out of shape.  I’m already in shape, but I guess it’s not the shape he had in mind.

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Published in: on November 4, 2010 at 2:44 pm  Leave a Comment  

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